When I joined the Air Force in 2002, I was still a boy of only 19 years old. And my best friend from the Air Force, Chris, was only 17- he was actually still legally a boy. I bought him his first drink at the bar when he became an adult.

Anyway, Chris and I grew up together and did everything together- at flight training, at the same squadrons, travelling around the world with work and on holidays, we drove to work together, kitesurfed together and at one point we even effectively had the same girlfriend. In 2003, we both did Movember for the first time- but looking at the photo at the end of the month- I still looked like a clean shaven boy and Chris had a lovely moustache. Then on one long holiday we took to Europe together, Chris grew quickly grew a beard and let his hair get really big- it was glorious. I was incredibly envious of these feats of manliness, and he inspired my love of big hair, but not of beards.

A couple of years later, Chris and I were devastated by a tragedy which struck one of our other best friends from Pilot’s Course, who was nick named Dawson. It was so sad because, Dawson had been suffering a gradual decline in his mental wellbeing and sought treatment from a military psychologist. He was then immediately grounded, and felt so hopeless at the perceived loss of his career, that he suicided. 

I had spent time surfing with Dawson just beforehand, and didn’t get any sense of foreboding. Chris had recently spoken to him on the phone. And then he was gone. Chris and I struggled to come to terms with his death, and we promised each other that if ever one of us had a decline in mental wellbeing, we would tell the other one and provide mutual support. And this happened a lot- we supported each other like brothers.  

After we each left the Airforce, life’s stressors began to ratchet up for both of us, with multiple changes of career, including Chris getting back into the Air Force due to COVID, sleepless nights with young children and the inevitable relationship stress that results, money stress, and work-induced stress. All pretty normal stuff. Well so, I thought.

Then a couple of weeks after one of our regular phone calls, where we had talked about these stressors and mental wellbeing, I received a call from another one of our best mates, that Chris had died. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this- it still hurts.

That was two years ago today, on the 11th of November 2021. Chris had been “temporarily” taken off flying duties by the Air Force psychologist, and while we will never know exactly what he was thinking, he made a snap decision and suicided.

There are so many questions I have asked myself and others about how and why the deaths of Dawson and Chris occurred. Decades and years on, it still eats me up. 

So you can see this is extremely personal for me to establish and grow Wellbeing for Pilots.

Even if there was only one family, one friend, one aviation organisation that does not have to go through the agony of loss of a pilot to suicide, then it will be worth it.

However, the potential is much greater if all pilots get behind it- where mental wellbeing and performance coaching can become part of the SOPs for aviation, leading to safer and more efficient aviation, with better workforce retention. 

Consider us like a co-pilot for your mental wellbeing.